some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
