I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
