I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
