okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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