I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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