In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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