have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
