I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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