remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
