You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
