Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
