discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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