Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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