no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
