i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
