atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
