I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize