I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize