whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
