I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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