Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
