What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
