Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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