For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
