I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
