i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
