She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
