theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
