actually, I'm a sock model
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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