i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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