I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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