omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
