I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
