i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
