Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
