i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize