Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
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I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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