Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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