Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He felt like a one man threesome
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
