i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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