remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
