Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
