I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
