For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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