If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
