Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
