and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
