There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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