kristin has been a bad kristin
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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