So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
