at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
