Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
