I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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