Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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