My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
