I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this boner is exhausting
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
