TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
